sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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