So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
