Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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