I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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