Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
