If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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