He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
