Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
he puts the penis in happiness.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
