yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
