and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
