We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
