i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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