I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
