after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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