That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
