he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
