Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize