Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Small penises have feelings too.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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