i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
