why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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