I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
