2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
