Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize