i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
she looked like the before picture.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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