Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
