So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Randomize
