hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
the day after is always just damage control
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
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