She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
this just has baby written all over it
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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