At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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