You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Houston, we have a squirter
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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