It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
They are going to name an STD after you.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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