If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize