Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
