i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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