If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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