fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Randomize
