Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
