Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
