I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just pynch a tree in the face
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
