Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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