You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
