Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
