is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
