Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
