Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
