hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
