i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
