Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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