Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
