i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
