at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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