You can't motorboat a personality
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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