I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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