Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
