Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
