Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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