Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
