Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I wish i was in the wii world.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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