You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
